18 msgs long
Tuesday, April 7, 2009; 1:00 AM
well this is kinnda hard for me to write
have to squeeze everything in my heart here
sorry that i have created a situation which resulted in an uneasy situation
and it was never my intention
I know it is difficult for you, as it is for me, to be separated for so long.
life seems to be full of trials of this type which test our inner strength, and more importantly,
our devotion and love for one another. After all, it is said that "True Love" is boundless and immeasurable and overcomes all forms of adversity.
it will grow stronger with each problems/quarrels thats in the way
be mature enough to talk this over
if you wan me to stop contacting you yes i jolly will
but not ignoring my msges and calls. its like fuking using me .
you asked me call and i did ;
im was so suprised that you can attually see the future , geomancy.
ive been wanted to tell you this never had a chance .
not because i dont want to , not because of pride
because i dont know how to express it in words
do you know ?all this time i've to act tough infront of you , inside me im that soft , that fragile .
i rmb you calling me " hamji , hoi gai " do you know how much it hurts me too?
you always say that i hurt you , yet your hurting me and you didnt know .
everytime when we quarrel, you just dont know tears keep flowing form me as well.
i hide it . every time i tries to keep everything to myself.
do you know how painful it was?
you know how much it hurts to see you bang against the wall ? slap yourself ?
you just didnt know how much i love you , all my life i was never devoted to a girl .
all those hurtful words i said to you , you know i dont mean it? .
rmbed the cards i draw out? 8 times in a row ?
i hope you read you old blog .
the things in wrote.
i broke out in tears.
The hours I've cried feel like days,
The days feel like years.
And cry my heart out and grieve,
I don't know what makes me think this is the right time, but if I don't do it now I never will by that time you would have change you numbers again
And I guess somewhere in the middle of everything we have done together and been through I realized how much I loved you.
I know this might mess up our relationship, but like I said I might not ever get another chance to tell you.
I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you.
I never meant to hurt you and I don't think you meant to hurt me either.
I really miss you, and even thought the two of us split apart,
even if i had to move on
I'll always keep a special place for you inside of me
i hope you would reply in favour of the past .
18 messages long . I hope you read again with a peace in your heart .
this is what i written to her .
i still find something missing i guess not everything could be express in words..